My Little Pet Fly Versus Your Uber Large Dick

There are, by far, five levels of fatness.

1)chubby

2)rotund

3)fat

4)obese

5)GOD DAMN!

Now, my dear old teacher who teaches a subject that has to do with health, his name starts with an M, (no prizes guessin who) is a fanatic about yoga, body jamming or aerobics etc. He claims that these forms of exercise are ten times better than playing sports.

Sir, I wonder if you qualify for a category 6?

Fried Ice Cream

Hooray for madam Sim (or 'Sim Copperfield' as she always do magics) as the first teacher to finish our syllabus!

~

After school, I walked out of the lab (we were having chemistry before this) and saw Jie Yi, Kai Jie and Eng Yuan talking and laughing. Feeling curious, I approached them and heard something like "我的硬硬的，两粒罢了" and "Haha! 我的很 smooth 咧! 两条长长的!"(Jie Yi) And I was like, what the toot?

Then I asked her,
"What you all talking just now?"
"We talking about YESTERDAY'S SHIT! HAHA!"
"... Yesterday ah, my one very smooth leh! Big big and thick thick one!"
"HAHA! My one also the same leh!!!"


LOL.

^ Characteristics of mine and Jie Yi's SHIT.

Beautiful Stranger

Effing tuition, destroyed my plan to go watch band competition with her.

Sigh.

But anyway, there's a gain from every loss. There were a lot of laughter in my class. Well I'm trying to be a rascist there (just for some laugh, of course), talking bad about Khinzir Jahat(KJ) and his race (whoops, meant no offence here ;P).

After the lesson, me and my friends waited outside. Jay's parents arrived first, and while he was walking towards his car he passed by a crappy, old, white, noob, sohai proton saga, and touched it (using his fingertip) gently, then ooh! the alarm went off. O.o

We were like 'WTF?' when it happened, and all of us froze there, looking at each other, blank in our mind (1, don't know how the hell this happened, 2, too shocked to see that a touch will trigger an alarm, 3, stunned, 4, don't know what to do). Haha then Jay ran to his car and smirked to us.

Seriously, this was damn noob man. Over-sensitive car. Just as last time, when my dad closed his car door gently, the alarm of the vehicle next by was engaged. S-w-e-a-t. =.="




*Keenen, the 'beautiful stranger' is the pretty girl I told you when we're going to Ipoh Chicken Rice Shop.

My Dog Humps the Innocent, And He Will Hump You

One of the horrors of youth : Acne, all over our beautiful face.

They disrupt the peace of that pure, naive, innocent skin of ours.
It's so sad.
Yet it happens.

There are basically a few groups of people in school :
Group 1 - People who got their pimples handed down to them genetically
Group 2 - People who didn't have pimples at first but got them after eating all that fried unhealthy school food
Group 3 - People who eat lots of fried stuff but still remain their perfect complexion
Group 4 - People who try hard to avoid getting them, but get them anyway
(Me, T_T)(Actually, doesn't this group fall in group 1 as well?)

They will definitely stop growing one day. But them remaining as scars is a different issue. It is so worrying!
My "efforts" to prevent them from becoming scars are simple - drink lots of water, stay away from the canteen fried food, wash my face often, force my mom to cook home-cooked food everyday.
Getting 7-8 hours of sleep everyday also helps prevent pimples, but seriously, who can follow this?

Drool over this, noobs.

My K-K-J makes the world go round.

Hello there. My name's Victor and i'll be joining the rantings of wekeepitshort.blogspot.com

Now, there are tens and thousands of ways to express yourself. You wouldn't want to keep that anger and frustration bottled up now, do you? Me, i find it so much easier to vent out my feelings through music.

It does not matter whether it's rock,emo,classical or plain lala songs. As long as you feel comfortable with it. Go ahead, immerse yourself in that blessed land of notes.

Playing instruments helps too. I play the drums, which is a terrific piece of equipment to dish out your anger.


What do you play?

The Invisible Pink Unicorn vs. The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Time is creeping by, and I am beginning to feel as strongly as ever that school is a complete waste of my time.
What say you?

This is our last year in high school, after that it's the real world.
College -> University -> Work -> Family
How many of us will be able to succeed in life? How many of us will be able to look back and say that he/she has climbed high up the social ladder?

The reality is, many will continue to live from hand to mouth, others might just crash and burn, and a small, very small percentage will be up at the top, above all their peers.
The world is but a place where
The strong devours the weak,
Yang kuat baham yang lemah,
弱肉强食。

I wish we can live on without such worries, ignorant of the world's atrocities.
But that is not the case, as we draw closer to the biggest exam of high school, one cannot help but stop and think, "If only life was much more forgiving to allow us to live an endless childhood."

What are you looking at right now?

Prunes Help A Lot When You are Constipated

When you are done with the big business in toilet(for girls it's either big or small =/), what do you do with the seats?
Do you :
1) Leave it?
2) Put it back up?

I'm actually quite fazed by how people can take this so lightly.
If you don't put the toilet seat back up, a few things will/might happen :
1) The next person who comes in the toilet will know someone was before him/her, they might feel uncomfortable
2) This next person will then either - pull the seat up to pee(for men) or leave it down and pee/defecate(for both sexes)
3) This next person(if decides not to put seat back up) might leave traces(of urine or excrement) on the toilet seat
4) The next person after this next person will look at the toilet seat and either - clean the toilet seat and proceed to use the facility or decide to Use the toilet seat as a place to squat, further dirtying the seat
5) This cycle will go on, and after some time, the toilet will be so filthy, it becomes a Disgrace

In a nutshell :
When toilet seat is not properly placed -> Problems occur -> People unhappy -> Especially me -> I have also noticed that it is usually the female who doesn't put the seat back up -> Males are more likely to do so because we acknowledge the fact that we can't aim properly, and do not wish to dirty the facility

Never deny it, if you were the one who didn't put the seat back up. =X

507Hp V12 Power-Blaster

If you had visited my blog, you could really sense how EMO was I few days ago.

It's just like a float in the middle of an ocean, rising up and falling down with the waves. Somehow I didn't manage to tie the float into position, as I always did, so that it wouldn't be affected so easily.

Then when I realized this, it had been quite a while since I emo-ed.

And no it's not good. It just makes a person to see everyday as doomsday, a world that is dark and hopeless.

Thus, embrace optimism in your soul!

Wrong tune! Wrong tune!

Ankles Sinking in The Rain

Is eating dog meat morally/socially/justifiably wrong?

There are a lot of people against it. To them, eating dog meat is :
1) Disgusting
2) Inhumane
3) Wrong, just so wrong
(Whatever I left out, please let me know)

But they don't seem to be against eating cows, chickens, lambs, crocodiles, fishes and what not. These farm animals are bred for the sole purpose of feeding us.

Can't we just do that with dogs(or cats for that matter)?
No, we can't. This will not go down well with the public. Even though more than a billion of the world's population are fine with dog farms(implying the general population of China), and another half the world apathetic about this whole thing(implying the general population of the poorest continents and countries), it will still not be accepted.

This is because the media(Western especially, see what they did to China during the whole Tibet brouhaha) will play the issue up. And they do it so well.

Although I must say, I still shudder at the thought of eating dog meat even though I'm fine with having dog meat on the market.

Dog meat is here to stay. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but that hunger for exotic food has to be fed.

Master Bed

A couple of things happened today during the 'Chicken Essence seminar'.

First case: renowned retard Mr. Andrew Eng showed his so-called brick dance in front of few hundred peoples. Everyone teased him so sarcastically by clapping and cheering while he was monkey-ing, but he just couldn't sense it and thought that he's a pro. What an irony.

Second case: special names appeared on the form they called us to fill in. Persons include KJ(Khinzir Jahat), La Fida!, Zakar Ria(Happy Cock), Mahai-thir, Sleepy-Lah, Semi Value(Besok Kirim Hari Ni Sampai), V.K. Lingerie, Robert Mugger-be, George Wanker Bush, Ong Ka Deng(Deng!), Najis Tong Rosak, NBA(Najis Bombs Aleluya)... etc.

DAMN FUNNY MAN!!!

The Geeks Will Get the Girls, Someday

Birds of a feather flock together.
We all know that.
物以类聚，人以群分。

In that perverted school of ours, we probably only have two 'races', you're either Lala or non-Lala.
Lalas simply dress, move, talk(and pretty much everything a human does) like their Japanese/Tawainese counterparts. I hope I got the definition right.

In my humblest opinion, the Lala population > the non-Lala population.
The non-Lalas(me included) aka non-conformists-hypocrites-who-think-oh-so-highly-of-
themselves-they-can-never-have-anything-to-do-with-the-Lalas should show the Lalas some respect.
People can do whatever they want. Leave them be.
Don't be a noob, accept this phenomena, shut up and get on with your life.

Maybe the only problem I have with the Lalas in school, is probably because most of them are empty in the head(not to mention that really bad taste in music), ya know?
Sigh...

Emos are the best, they're smart, they look cool and have great music taste. =)

Headless Chicken or Tailless Pig

What's so good about Brand's chicken essence?

Helps you recover faster than normal people?

Helps you remember more things?

Helps in short term memory?

Boost your energy?

If that is the case, why not try it on Down Syndrome humans, give them one serving per day.
It may boost their IQ, if you can bring their IQ to near 100, then it will be a miracle. Does it?

No.

Does drinking one bottle of chicken essence help?

No.

How many bottles does it help?

Everyday one.

How much it cost in the market?

More than your chicken rice plus a bowl of chicken soup in a famous chicken rice restaurant.

Any chicken in Brand's chicken essence?

No.

Why not try this:

Why do guys like boobs?

He's been to many functions held during my primary days.
Even now, in my secondary days. Although I've not seen him since last year.
He has even taught at my secondary school.
He is hailed as the man championing the Chinese in Malaysia.
He was featured in the Star newspaper, taking the front cover, for sitting the LRT to work.
Recently, there was a book about him, written by god knows who. The book featured a bunch of quotes from him, and of course lots more of pictures.
He even has a wikipedia page.

I've seen him speak. In school, press conferences, whatever.
He's got that voice, that monotonous voice, it puts you to sleep.
Not very inspiring to begin with.
His contributions towards the Chinese society? Felt by some, left out many.

How do you feel towards him? To me, it's all so distant, he's never really touch what's at heart. Let me say this, what the Chinese Malaysians(yes, I will continue to call myself that until I gain the bumiputra status, I AM A SON OF THE SOIL) need is action, not talk.



Who will walk through this calamity with us Chinese? Him?

Pilled Up Reference Books

Report Card Day. Great, I made through it smoothly!!!


I was kinda shocked when our form teacher said that I:

"Did well in class"

"Very attentive during her lesson"

"Results not bad"

"Behaviour is good"

"Skilled in photography"

"Know well to express myself through words"

etc.


WOW!!

Afternoon naps pwns all

Hectic weekend.
The campfire was probably our worst ever but we tried our best.
What is done is done.

So I was thinking about taxi drivers, have you had any bad experiences with them? Especially the ones in Malaysia.

We have :
Stinky taxi drivers
Rude taxi drivers
I-refuse-to-use-the-meter taxi drivers
I'm-an-illegal-immigrant-who-miraculously-drives-a-taxi taxi drivers

Summing that up, they're ASSHOLES taxi drivers.


But of course not all of them are like that, some you can get along with really well and have a good conversation with.
We shouldn't stereotype taxi drivers, but we shouldn't let our guard down either.

I hope we entertained some people at least during the campfire.

Pants on Fire

Instructions: Calm yourself down before reading this. And scroll slowly. Think about it before you proceed. Ok start.




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HOLD YOUR BREATH.
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LOOK AT YOUR SIDE.
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I'M HERE. JUST BESIDE YOU.
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WATCHING YOU.
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AND I'M DEAD.
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M-U-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A....................




Anyone get haunted by this can find me in school to get counselling ;) This is pure lame-ness haha.

Dog Bites Dog

Doncha' feel that recently we are kinda obessed with kittens and cats?

Aha. Now see this > EVOLUTION


-----

Forest and Seas

I'm addicted to blogging. Seriously. It's like a disease, haha.

Every night you can see me in my room, with my laptop on bed, a book and my handphone beside, blogging, or playing games.

Well gotta figure out other ways to WASTE MY TIME! ;)


Smile ;)

Plastic Table Plastic Chairs

Is raping FUN? (WTF??)

Well to those rapers, it's an enjoyment. To victims, it's agony.

I'd read someone's blog recently, talking about the castration method proposed by our "sister ng" haha. Then at the comments there, some crazy fella said that MEN ENJOY BEING RAPED BY WOMEN, and there were much such cases. I was like, OMG, haha, WTF? You ENJOY being RAPED by women?

He said that it's men's PLEASURE to be raped, quite different from men raping women as most of the times women refuse to get raped. I laugh like mad man instantly.

Perhaps the crazy guy like to be RAPED by FAT, UGLY, MEAN women!!!!!

~


AWW this is so CUTE... I know a girl named Jia Hui and she's as cute as this! Haha.

Tomato Sauce definitely pwns Chilli Sauce

How often do you cut your nails?

Truth be told, I hate long nails.
It's dirty, and gets dirty easily.
Imagine having dirty nails and picking up something to eat. The germs will jump aboard your food and invade. Then you lao sai.
It's also no good for those playing string instruments.

Well, there's been a disturbing trend rising among the guys in school.
That is just keeping ONE nail long.
That's just gay and ewwish.
Especially if it's really long, then it gets really dirty, then.......

I hope I managed to convince you keep your nails short. Cut it at least once a week.
Three cheers for those who do.

Boobs Are Nice

Recently I've been very bored in my home. Just too bored. What to do? Reading? Studying? Blogging? Internet? Gaming? Watching TV? Nah. Hate studying. Can't read for long time. I've ran out of ideas on my personal blog. Internet is getting more and more boring. I don't play games due to my sucky computer. Never watch TV except for National Geographic, Discovery, or History channel.

So, what am I going to do now?

B-O-R-I-N-G.

Perhaps I should find some boobs to squeeze. Yummy.

I'm a Nincompop and You're a Nightingale

So our school recent installed cameras. Not just outside the boy toilets actually, in the reading corner as well.

But that's not the point, why install a camera outside a Boy's Toilet?

Sakai
has talked about it.

A few noteworthy points here :
1) Instead of the Girl's Toilet, they put it outside the Boy's Toilet.
2) The school has not given us a reason.
3) They complain about funds all the time, and this is what they do.
4) What utter nonsense.



They're scheming something. I just know it. [Thanks Answerman for the image.]

Nasi Lemak and Chocolate Just Don't Go Together

Just when you thought the cats decided to stop terrorizing the school, they came swooping in dropping their gold outside your class and on the prefect bridge.

And I know I overreact, but WTF? DROPPINGS IN AN EDUCATION INSTITUTE?
And then there's the birds who eat leftovers in the canteen and leave that unpleasant greenish-white thing on tables and chairs.

Seriously.

Cosmo Physics

Ipoh Chicken Rice Shop. Well well well, I've been there for 10 times across only 14 schooling days. See my endurance for 鸡饭. Each time I went, it's either Kuey Teow Kosong or Chicken Rice, no others. But I'm not getting bored of it!


Perhaps they should sell THIS KIND of chicks!!!!!

Sugarcanes in the Easy Morning

We've had little, very little contact or interaction with the other races of Malaysia. We grew up in our respective environments, never ever having genuine interaction with other races.
Can we agree on that, fellow peers of mine?

This country is still as divided as ever. But I hope that can change someday. I hope one day, we can truly call each other brothers and sisters. Deep understanding between all races of Malaysia. A society that will become an example to the world.

We might not be able to see that day, these things don't fall in place just like that. But the future generation deserve at least this much. How do you think we will be able to achieve such a feat?

Even animals get along well.

Scissors Across Crotch

... so your dick will be cut OFF!

~

I just realized how SLOW is my reading speed. I'm a slow poke. Tortoise. 乌龟. カメ. 거북이. Schildkröte. Sköldpadda. Tartaruga. Tortue. Zelva. костенурки. χελώνα.

GODDAMMIT!

Only 43 pages in 5 long days. Fuck.

Cheese On Toast

How often do you swear?

According to a poll I conducted recently, TWO out of TWO have said that they dislike excessive use of abusive words, aka swearing too much.

Anyone who grew up watching movies and shows from the West would know that swearing is part and parcel of life over there.
I like swearing too, it puts me at ease.



Can't y'all accept a lil' swearing here and there?

Prelude

Inspired by Keenen, we've decided to create a blog that aims to publish free thoughts, random events, personal experiences, lame jokes, subjective opinions... etc. shortly and concisely.

Yes, because shorter entries are easier to read.